We're like a lot better than the average bears
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize