omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
