How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
