You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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