waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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