The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
