Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
