i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
