Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
