The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize