Me too!
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
