I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Bring me that man meat
Let's get the cat blown out
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
