Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
