She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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