I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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