I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Every concussion has its silver lining
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Text me some of your sweat
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
