Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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