Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
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