I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
