ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
