i just had sex bonerless
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
