It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
