i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
