my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize