He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Randomize
