dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
