Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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