I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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