im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I have post one night stand depression
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