Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
