a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
