can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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