yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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