gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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