C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
