You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
