No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
