So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
