He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
