mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
