i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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