Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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