The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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