do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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