Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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