I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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