so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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