We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
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and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I could fuck to npr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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