I want to make a zoo with you.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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