whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
