If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize