mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How does it feel to date your dad?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
