She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
