Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
