plz talk dirty to me
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
