It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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