so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize