all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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