She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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