is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
