they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
