She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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