Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
