Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
