I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
be right there i have to get my cape
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
