when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
